
Several years ago my Dad said to me, “If you find a job you really love you will never really do a day’s ‘work’ your whole life.” He was not talking about never having a tough day or living in the land of idealism. Rather I think he was describing the relationship between passion, calling, and context. Watching him over many years I saw how he lived out that message. In his book The Anointing R.T. Kendall talks about a similar dynamic for the Christian using different language. He describes the anointing to do specific assignments as “a gift that functions easily when it's working… the person who is filled with the Holy Spirit is able to do extraordinary things, but to him it seems quite natural. There is an ease to it.”
While I have days and assignments that are mundane and frustrating, it is my increasing desire that the compass heading of my life and work is one not based on trying to impress others, but on what God has asked and equipped me to do. I love seeing that dynamic in those around me. I remember recently watching a friend do an activity that I had never seen him do before. As he performed it with such grace and competency I found I couldn’t stop smiling. Afterwards I said to him, “You were made for this.”
Over the coming weeks I am going to write about some of the favorite parts of what I do. Let me tell you about the first: being involved in wedding ceremonies. I didn’t always have a love for weddings. One of the first weddings I was involved in took place when I was about 12 years old. I played prelude music on the flute for over an hour and then the bride was 45 minutes late! By the time of the processional I could barely stand up. Over the last 8-9 years I have married dozens of couples. There was one memorable wedding that took place in Foster Park where I forget to tell the guests to be seated after the processional and everyone stood for the whole ceremony!
I love the ceremony, but even more than that I love the time I get to spend with the couples in the weeks and months leading up to the special day. There are two reasons for that. First, during marriage preparation it is so easy to talk about the big subjects of Christianity. The conversation flows naturally to discussions about sacrifice, covenant, forgiveness and unconditional love. These conversations are the easiest evangelistic context I know. More than once over the last couple of years I have led one or both of the marriage couples into a personal relationship with Jesus. Those marriage ceremonies were filled with an extra measure of joy. Several times guests of the wedding have begun attending the church because they encountered God’s love during the ceremony.
Second, it is a great privilege to walk with people through transitions in life. Giving newly married couples some tools to evaluate their circumstances and make wise decisions is so important. At other times it is being with a family in times of great joy, like the birth of a child or great loss like the death of a loved one. The responsibility of expressing the grace and truth of our God is one I take very seriously. There are relational bonds that get formed during these moments that can go on for years.
Ten things I would tell young leaders about being part of weddings:
1. Be patient – figuring out ceremony details can be tedious at times.
2. Be ready – to give good explanations about the covenant couples are about to make.
3. Be expectant – that God can use you in really wonderful ways through the preparation time.
4. Be discerning – ask God to guide the conversation into areas that are important to touch on.
5. Be open – to change and don’t follow the same template with every couple. Their experiences will be different and so they will need different things.
6. Be sensitive – to complex family relationships. As much as possible, work to make everyone at ease.
7. Be present – listening with your eyes is as important as speaking words with your mouth.
8. Be relaxed – during the rehearsal and the ceremony. You set the tone.
9. Be clear – on what your expectations are for the couple, the wedding party, the family.
10. Be personal – with the homily. It should reflect the personalities of the couple.